The Apology
by Rand0mFand0m
Summary: Patton has something he has to do. Meanwhile, Remus just wants to take a freaking break. (Sander Sides Fanfic.) This is not a ship. However, if you want to interpret it as such, go ahead. Rated T for strong language. This is not the full story. If I get a strong enough response I will post the rest.
1. Lost

I do not own Sanders Sides (obviously, I'm not cool enough) Thomas Sanders does. I just wanted to see if I could write some fluff using Remus and this idea came into my head. I would like to thank Thomas for his creativity, passion, and dedication to his work to create something so unique and wonderful.

Enjoy!

He couldn't believe he was doing this. Actually he could. As Thomas's heart he was, as Logan put it, "extremely vulnerable to episodes of durastic emotional weakness." He only kind of understood what he meant; he cared, too much in some cases. Patton couldn't deny that he was naive and foolish, but right now he felt compelled to do this.

His heart was pounding, the pulse flowing through him making him shake. He didn't know if it was out of fear or excitement, but he did know that it pulled him forward. As he looked up at the door he felt a beat skip. That was definitely fear. It was bad enough that he was in the realm of the dark sides, but in front of this door? This was crossing a line that he and the others drew a long time ago. The door before him was as intricate as Roman's, just more disgusting. It was black, covered in grime, mold, and… blood? The entire door seemed to be moving; a mix between inky tentacles slithered in the wood and the door creaked in and out as if it were breathing. A single green eyeball was placed exactly where the peephole should be, and it glared ominously down at Patton as he cowered before it.

"Hey there, n-nice door...good b-boy?" Patton stuttered at the monstrosity before him. Remus's door was no joke. It was awful and exactly the opposite of everything Patton wanted out of a door, but of course that was the point. Remus was an agent of chaos...heck, Patton was convinced he was chaos itself. Another shiver. He definitely shouldn't be here, but at the same time he needed to be. He needed to go into Remus' mindscape, no matter the cost. The problem was, he didn't know how to get in. There wasn't a doorknob or handle. How was he…

"O-oh...oh heck no…" he murmured as he reached out. As he feared, when his hand met the door, it passed through with a thick, squishy sound. He immediately pulled his hand out, surprised to find it intact. Nope. That was it, he had to find another way. However, right as he began to ponder how the heck he was going to get through this door in literally any other way possible, the door began to collapse in on itself. Virgil had claimed that Remus' door moved on its own when Patton asked how to get to him, which had already put Patton behind on his mission since he had to explain what he wanted to do which Virgil highly objected to. Apparently the moving-on-its-own thing was something Remus had done to make his door more "exciting." Can't blame him, it was kind of cool. At this moment though, it was definitely not cool. Before the door disappeared completely, Patton closed his eyes, plugged his nose, took a deep breath and jumped into the slimy mass that was Remus' door.

Remus was minding his own damn business. After tormenting Thomas all night he was taking a well deserved break. Roman wasn't the only one who liked spa days. Listening to relaxing music (freakbeat really took the edge off), taking a bath (no bubbles - that required soap), and just generally avoiding the thought of… those morons. His brother was always a good time; fucking with him always brought a smile to his face. They way he reacted when one of his fucking precious little passion projects was destroyed, or altered to be a little more X-rated, was priceless. Nerdy Wolverine, his polar opposite, was a pain in the ass. Not just because he was Remus' complete opposite, but because he was unshakable; nothing Remus seemed to do bothered him! His unpredictability and chaotic energy didn't make a dent in the wall that was Thomas's logic, and it wasn't from a lack of trying. He had invaded his mindscape, stolen his glasses, replaced all his books with pornograpy, and had even done some unspeakable things to Logan's personal supply of Crofter's. And Logan responded the same way every time; with nothing. The only time he had ever seen that dumb nerd react to anything he had done is when he messed with the others, especially Virgil.

Remus growled frustratedly and sunk deeper into the questionable bathwater he was in. All those douchebags were so protective of Virgil even when he was trying to protect them, always jumping to his aid despite not understanding the situation. They even traversed realms for him. Blech. He hated that emo sooo much. Virgil had been one of them; a dark side like Deceit and Remus were. Yet he didn't want to stick around. He wanted to be good... protective... and in pursuit of that Virgin decided that the dark sides weren't good enough for him. That he wasn't good enough for him. Nope, trash boy wasn't a good enough friend to him so he ran off to go spend time with his cool, handsome, much nicer brother and leave Remus alone with only Dee. Remus chuckled. Well, that wasn't completely true. There was someone else, but Remus didn't count him; he'd barely been around when the shit hit the fan.

Remus scoffed and submerged himself completely in the water. Yup, just he and Dee. Alone. Forever…

Suddenly he bolted up out of the water, flinging the onion rings that he had placed on his eyes halfway across the bathroom. He, like all the other sides, could sense when something out of place entered his domain. It made his spine tingle, head twinge, and often left a bad taste in his mouth. It used to be a normal occurrence for him, when Virgil visited him. But Virgil hadn't been back, he was never coming back. And this taste was definitely not dark and stormy. It was so bad Remus took a swig from the perfume bottle he was drinking from. Home-baked cookies and sunshine, yuck. Who the hell left a taste of fucking sunshine? More importantly, who was stupid enough to enter his domain? His door was left to move randomly on its own, so there was no way this was an accident. So it would have to take a real big idiot to accidentally stumble in here, and an even bigger one to come in on pur-

"H-hello? Is anyone here?" Remus's pupils dilated and his heart stopped. Fucking Christ on a fishstick. He had completely forgotten about Patton. That gullible doof should have been the most fun to mess with out of all the other sides, yet he couldn't bring himself to do it. Sure, he would threaten Patton and scare him when the rest of the group was around, but alone? It made him feel weird. Dee said it was guilt, but Remus dismissed that with a laugh. He, the chaotic side of imagination and creativity, the bringer of intrusive thoughts, feel guilt? He'd done a lot of things that would make any number of humans feel guilt, especially Thomas, but never once had he regretted nor felt guilt because of any of it. So he should have no problem leaving that dork stranded out in his domain on his own, left to the mercy of the full effect of his realm.

But even as he thought that, Remus felt that weird feeling; that pang right in the center of his chest. It made his eye twitch. With an exasperated groan, he pulled himself out of the tub and pulled on a tattered, stained robe, not even bothering to dry off. Usually he wouldn't even bother to dress himself either, but he didn't want to risk Patton of all people seeing him in his favorite suit. He'd resigned himself to the idea that he should keep an eye on "Fluff-no-stuff" to make sure he didn't mess anything up by fixing it. Besides, with how the sides' realms worked, he was intrigued as to how his would directly affect the most innocent of the light sides. Pushing back his hair Remus stormed off into the shadows, promising himself that he wouldn't directly interact with the light side, no matter what.

Patton was lost and scared. After jumping through the door, and miraculously coming out clean on the other side, he had opened his eyes to dark and ominous forest. Black, knotted trees reached far up above him, so far to where there seemed to be no end to their reach. The branches were empty, yet very little light reached the base of the forest where he stood. The ground was mostly barren dirt, except for a few venus-flytrap-looking plants and some weird-looking flowers. Overall, it was terrifying, and as Patton walked along it only got worse. The knots in the trees opened and closed revealing blood-red eyes which watched his every move. The forest grew darker and the roots of the trees caused him to trip up several times. On top of that, the plants reached out to him; clawing desperately or tugging at his shoelaces. Patton had thought this place would mimic his kid Roman's domain; wide open spaces, magical forests, beautiful creatures, and a grand castle...just all a bit darker. This was nothing like he imagined.

As he made his way along, for goodness knows how long, he feared he would never find the center of Remus' home. Each side had one, no matter how big and vast their domain was; Logan's was a library, Roman's was a castle, Virgil's was the smallest as it was just a room, and Patton himself had a cosy house. Each place was tailored to the side's taste and being, just as the rest of their domains were, but the most important place in each center was "the room." This room copied Thomas' room and house, and was the most condensed area of each sides' being; reflecting their style, taste, who they really were. This is where sides were automatically teleported to when they were with Thomas and wanted to find or explore the side that lived there. So why wasn't Patton going straight there? It was never guaranteed that the side who lives in the domain will be in that room right away, and that was a risk Patton couldn't take. Patton remembered, that just as with Virgil's room, just being in that area will cause that side to come out in whoever is in it. He didn't know how Remus's identity could warp him, or even if it could, but going right to the source wouldn't give him enough time to do what he needed to do. No, it was much better to wander a bit and let the realm infect him slowly; more time meant more of a chance of finding him.

But the trip was so dreary, so long, so boring. Patton began to hum to himself and skip a bit to make his search less miserable. A smile sprouted on his face as he continued, feeling much better about being in Remus' realm. Why, I'm just like little red riding hood, off to go visit my family, he thought as he skipped along. Not even a big, bad wolf-

And then he fell, grabbing a tree to brace himself so he wouldn't faceplant from the sheer force of the image that came into his head. Little red riding hood...dead...caked in such dark, crimson blood that it was possible to distinguish the color from the normal red of her hood. The big bad wolf, hunched over her body, the sound of bones being splintered accompanied by the slurp of...of…No. Patton breathed and slowly counted. He thought of what he had to do. He was not getting affected so soon. But maybe it wasn't soon. Who knows how long he had been there. He waited until the shadows stopped spinning around him and settled. He couldn't turn back now...literally. The door had vanished as soon as he stumbled through it. For now, he had to go on.

"O-ok. Ok...You're going to be ok. Just keep swimming, right?" he said aloud to himself. Yet even with his cheeriness and fast recovery, he knew that things were only getting worse as he went on. The shadows seemed to be watching him, following close behind as he pressed onward…

Remus had decided that this was not fun. After watching Patton amble around a bit, and resisting the urge to help him when the first episode hit, Remus was tempted to just go back to his castle (which was much better than Roman's in his opinion) open up another bottle of perfume and summon some Taco Bell. Yet, he couldn't tear his eyes away from the helpless being before him. Normally he would be fine with someone wandering aimlessly in his domain; he found it quite funny that the landscape shifted on its own, mimicking his own unpredictability. In this case however, Dream Daddy™ was getting closer to a mental breakdown with every other step he took, and those were never fun. It could possibly put Thomas out of commission for weeks if his heart suffers something too traumatizing, and you could bet your bottom that Remus had a shitload of things that surpassed traumatizing. Yeah, no one liked mental breakdowns, not even Remus.

Remus was about to call it quits and summon the way out of his room for pin-prick just so he didn't have to worry about causing a big enough mess to make Deceit come after him, when things got so much worse. The forest began to change its path before Patton, leading him right to…

Son of a two-timing tinsel thumper. Remus swore under his breath, his acrylic nails digging into the bark of the tree he was hiding in. It seemed while Remus was against messing with giggle glasses, his domain was all for it. There were many ways for the landscape to scare, spook, disgust, and just generally screw with whoever decided to take a walk along it. Remus honestly found it enchanting, beautiful in an imperfect way, but it was not for the faint of heart. For example, with the current path Patton was walking, he was about to walk into an area with a lovely pink pond. It was quite lovely, and not just in a Remus way. It was a weird, murky pepto bismol-pink with little horned toads swimming about…

That just so happened to make people honry. Because. Why not.

Remus definitely needed to get that dingus away from there, and fast. Without much thought, he summoned the exit door and caused it to fall right in front of Patton. This caused the poor bastard to yelp and fall back right on his ass. Patton stared up at the door with his mouth agape in shock. Remus thought that with everything that has happened to him thus far, the little gay pussy-lover would run right through the door; problem solved. Good. He could get back to being alone, happily alone. He brushed off his hands and turned to go when he heard it.

"Remus?"

He bristled. Oh shit oh shit oh shit. Remus pressed his back into the tree he was in, not bothering to turn to look at Patton.

"Remus, I know you're there!"

He looked now. Patton might know he was there now, but he didn't have a clue exactly where he was. He looked around at the trees up in the branches, missing Remus completely. Then he looked behind the door. Unsatisfied, Patton turned back toward the clearing, cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted.

"REEEEEMUSSSSS! WHERE ARE YOU? I KNOW YOU'RE HERE!"

Remus kept his trash-trap shut. No way was he going to let him know he was here, better for him to think the door manifested on its own. He'd give up soon enough. No one was dumb enough to keep going. No one. Well, except Patton who huffed and walked around the door towards that ill swamp. Remus swore again and commanded the door to move to block that little insistent shit's way again. Again he swerved around the door and continued walking. What the fuck-a-duck was with this guy? He should want to leave, yet he was being so insistent. Remus was getting impatient, forcing the door to move to block Patton's way again and shifting it to make sure it always remained in front of him. It appeared as if Patton was getting just as impatient; stomping around and trying to move fast enough to get around the door. Finally, fell on his knees, his head cast downward towards the ground. Remus had never seen anything so sad and pathetic. Well, except for that time he stole all of Roman's beauty products and flushed them down a toilet. After taking a dump on them.

Patton stayed that way for a while; quite, downcast, and unmoving. Remus felt like an even bigger asshat than usual, and not in a good way. He had no idea what to do. Then, Patton finally spoke.

"Remus, I know you're here."

Remus's heart and breathing stopped.

"And I know you don't want me to be here, but I need to be here. There's something I have to say to you, and I don't want to leave until I've said it. So, here it goes." Patton cleared his throat. "I'm sorry."

Wait...what the fu-

"And I want to tell you why and explain and… oh kid, I'm not good at this and I think we should talk face to face. But, you don't want that. I know, confrontation is scary. Heck, I've been here all day and this is the scariest thing so far. But please let me talk to you, not for long! I promise, cross my heart and hope for pie stick a cupcake in my eye? No, you don't like that stuff uhh… cross my heart and hope to, to… just please? I'll wait for a bit longer but if it makes you uncomfortable, well, I don't want to make you upset kid."

Remus didn't know what to think, which was normal; he usually didn't think and just did stuff. But now, right now he just wanted to know why. Why sorry? His head felt like it was going to combust, his heart pounded in his throat. He gripped the tree harder, trying to ground himself to keep from spinning away. He had to know.

Defeated Patton picked himself off the ground. "Ok buddy, I'll see you around sometime yeah? Maybe when you go to steal all of Roman's left socks again. That was… pretty funny." He began to walk towards the door. It was then the trajectory of Remus's mind spinning sent him reeling from the tree towards the ground. With a heavy thud, and a less then superhero landing, Remus yeeted face-first into the ground. That felt good...what no, focus dipshit. He lifted his head and found he was staring at a very concerned looking Patton.

He was dressed in his normal attire (he was so stupuid to enter his domain without any sort of protection), yet looked completely different. All the sides looked a bit more unique in the mindscape as it reflected their own individuality within Thomas. It was only in the mind palace or wherever Thomas was that the sides actually looked like variations of Thomas. Outside of that when Thomas wasn't thinking of them the sides were concepts, abstracts and parts of his being, that were more shapeless and moldable. Some of the sides used that to their advantage to appear a certain way in front of the others; Patton was one such side. Instead of Thomas in glasses, Remus saw a slightly tanner, shorter dad-bodied man. He had baby-blues which seemed to look big and innocent through the frames of his glasses. There was a light dusting of freckles on his face that traveled from one rosey, dimpled check to the other. A mess of tangled, dark-blond curls that delicately brushed his eyebrows topped off the light side before him. Remus had never seen Patton up close like this before, and now completely understood why even Logan had called Patton adorable. Patton was... surprising.

It was not this that surprised Remus though. What surprised him was that underneath Sunshine's exterior, he seemed to radiate a level of...wisdom. Understanding. Something much older and deeper that went beyond puppies and playtime. Something warm and inviting that made Remus feel...squishy. Well, not exactly squishy, but Remus didn't know what this was; he had never felt this before. Maybe a bit when he had Virgil around, but that was less of this and more of a quiet, understanding. This was new.

He was aware now that Patton was waiting for him to say something, anything, to indicate that he was fine. So he looked right into his eyes and said the only reasonable thing to say into that moment.

"I'm not a kid dipshit."

Patton was taken aback for a moment. It took him a second to process what Remus had said, and when he finally did he couldn't hold it back. He laughed. He threw his head back and laughed at the absurdity and abruptness of Remus's comment. It was an honestly weird mix of a giggle and a laugh that exhaled so much air through his gapped teeth that there was a slight whistle to it. Patton would usually cover his mouth or change it to a more moderate giggle but he couldn't contain himself.

Remus flushed before him, most definitely embarrassed. He quickly picked himself up. "Well fine asshole, if you're just going to laugh at how I look then I'm just going to go." He turned and began storming off. Shoot.

"Kid no, wait." Patton grabbed Remus's arm, a sense of urgency in his voice. "Is that what you think? That isn't it at all I promise! I wasn't laughing at how you looked! You look good!" Which was true, surprisingly so to Patton. He wasn't wearing much, just a tattered, green robe, but it looked comfortable and warm and Patton could appreciate that. Remus was taller than him, like almost a full head taller. He was paler and seemed to have no marks on him whatsoever, even after falling out of a tree. His dark, black hair was pushed back and the grey streak in it brought out the hidden green highlights throughout the rest of his head. His moustache was coiffed into two perfect handlebars above his black-tinted lips. His ears were each pierced cleanly with glittering green diamonds. Patton was drawn to Remus's eyes though. The harlequin-green irises must have usually been highlighted by some deep shadow he had worn in front of the rest of the group, making them look truly toxic. But right now, the lack of makeup and the dilated look of shock within them brought them out quite nicely. Whether the look was from Patton saying he looked good or from him physically touching him, Patton didn't know nor care. He was just grateful right now that Remus had stopped moving and listened to him.

Speaking of grabbing him, Patton realized something that was much more surprising than the rest of his appearance. He brought Remus's hand close to his face and pushed his glasses up off the edge of his button nose.

"Remus," he began, "are those?"

"Acrylics? Yes, yes they are," Remus finished. Patton marveled at the set of plack and green acrylic nails before him.

"Wow. They're so cool! All of you looks so cool. I'm kinda…" Patton trailed off.

"Kinda what?" Remus said and Patton noted the hint of fear in his voice.

"Confused. I thought your whole thing was to look... awful."

Patton was surprised that Remus didn't get upset at him for saying that and looked somewhat relieved. He quickly hid it and put a sassy grin on his face.

"Me? Awful? Bitch please. I'm too fabulous to ever look terrible; that's what my behavior is for. My goal has always been, and always will be, to look like trash," he finished with a grin.

Patton laughed. "Well, you might have to try harder since you don't look like either." That brought a warm smile and light flush to the dark side's face.

"Alright, stop with the flattery. You wanted to, what was it again? Apologize? Yeah, can you do that so I can get back to what I was doing and get you out of here?"

Patton's smile dropped in time with Remus' hand.

"Oh. Right. Well I just… wanted to say… I'm sorry."

"Yeah, I know," Remus rolled his eyes, "for what exactly?"

"Well, you know…"

"I don't think I do Scatter-brained. Think you could tell me," Remus said leaning forward.

"Ahhhh...Represion!" Patton said quickly squeezing his eyes shut. "I'm sorry for helping Thomas repress you and making things go worse and that's why you got upset and you attacked Roman and Logan and it's not fair to you because you are just different and that's not bad but you keep acting up and-"

"Woah woah woah, slow down before you bust a nut. Start again slowly, you're going too fast for me to understand."

Patton noded. He was so worried about saying something wrong that the floodgates just opened up and he couldn't stop from going too quickly. Patton grounded himself and looked at Remus right in the eyes.

"I said I'm sorry for making Thomas repress you. I didn't know what that was, repression anyway, and I was just trying to help Thomas. I got completely lost in my job and it's not fair to you."

"Is that it?" Remus said casually, checking for cracks and chips in his acrylics.

"No, that's not it. I'm sorry that I came into your domain because I felt like I had to do this… to make myself feel better. It's really selfish and really mean. And I don't like being a meanie."

Remus looked taken aback. "Can't believe you actually admitted that this was for yourself."

"Well yeah, at first anyway. I mean, I knew I felt bad for how we treated you and I had to say something, but I knew it was to get that icky feeling out of my stomach. Then when I came here I was scared of you, and what you could do. What you could do to me, and yet… you stayed away. You didn't actively look for me and make my life miserable. I felt like something or someone was watching me, but I thought it couldn't be you. It had to be the trees or something else because you didn't care that I was here. But nothing happened to me; no attacks, no retaliation, nothing. Well, except for a few visions. And then the door appeared." Remus looked panicked now, which made Patton feel sad but he had to keep going.

"There's something bad up ahead, isn't there? Something you didn't mean to do or had no control over and you wanted me to get out before it did something. I think I understand now. You say there is no reason to why you do things, but when Thomas has some of his darkest intrusive thoughts it's because he's alone literally or figuratively. He has them because he feels like you do all the time. Bored. Upset. Alone. And that's because of me and the others. We...we pushed you back because we don't understand you. Because some of us were scared, uncaring, ignorant, repulsed or all of the above. We stifled a part of Thomas, but more importantly we repressed and pushed away everything you did or said. And then you retaliated against us. Acted up. Did all the stuff you've done because you just wanted to be entertained and play. So, I'm sorry that we pushed you down and away. We should have known better, but we only thought about Thomas and ignored the fact that you are a part of us. A part of Thomas. And we love Thomas." Patton glanced down at his feet.

"And like I said, you're not terrible," Patton whispered, "and neither is your creativity. It's just different. I've seen it all while I'm here." And it was true, Patton was seeing everything with fresh eyes. The trees wove together like a canvas at the roots and branches, the light falling through the boughs in different shades of green to land on he and Remus as they talked. The tree trunks in all their high-reaching glory appeared as statuesque columns with thousands of single-eye spectators looking onward. The Venus flytraps had a rhythm to their movement, and the flowers shone through their dark colors. In the mosaic of greens and dark colors, Patton saw the forest for what it was; a ballroom. He'd been in the castle all along. And it was beautiful.

"Everything here is so different and strange, but it's wonderful in its own way. Virgil had said it was different, and I bet Deceit likes it here too. So again I'm sor-"

"You're wrong," Remus said in a strangled voice.

Patton looked up. Oh no. Remus was crying, dark tears running down his face. Patton had forked up. "Hey bud it's ok, I know I'm not wrong though. Everything's going to be ok. I'm sorry let's-"

"YOU'RE WRONG," Remus yelled. Before Patton could do anything, tentacles shot out of Remus and slammed him through the trees past the door and into a pink pond. Patton landed with a large splash and was completely submerged within less than a second. He felt his eyes grow heavy as he sank lower and lower, and an unusual feeling settling inside him as the liquid seeped into his lungs. Through the murkiness and his drooping eyes, Patton saw Remus swimming towards him; arms outstretched, fear echoing off his face. He really does care, Patton thought as his vision went dark, such a good boy.

If I get a good enough response, I'll post the rest. Please let me know if you enjoyed it, or even if you didn't!


	2. Full story

The full story is now posted at /works/23001562


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